What does the Bible say about supporting a mooch?

What does the Bible say about supporting a mooch? I have to say that the very best thing to do is to pray and wait for God to answer by either putting a burden onto your heart to help the person or by removing the burden that you have to help him or her. Other than that, I can give you a few Bible verses that pertain to this situation and then offer some first hand advice and let you draw your own conclusion.

To begin with, 1 John 3:17-18 says: "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." (NIV) And in Matthew 25:40, Jesus said: “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.’” (KJV)

On top of the above verses, the Bible tells us that we are to bear each other's burdens, but it doesn't tell us how far we should go or how long we should help another. I suppose it all depends upon who the person is that needs your help and what their needs are. For instance, if someone who is physically or mentally disabled and cannot work needs our help, then it's our duty to do what we can for him or her. Or if it's a widowed, homeless, or elderly person who just doesn't have enough money to get by, we should help and do it gladly.

And going by what James 4:17 proclaims, we should support someone in his or her time of need. However, this verse is a two-edged sword for all concerned. What I mean is that on one side, if you continually enable a mooch, you're doing more harm than good for him or her and on the other side, if you don't keep helping someone who is needy, you’ll end up feeling guilty.

Now, I'll tell you straight up what I know from first hand experience. If you continue to enable a person by frequently giving him or her money, you’ll do more damage to your relationship with that person than almost anything I can imagine. If you keep giving to the "moocher" you'll end up becoming resentful of him or her personally, then you'll end up loathing the person due to their unreasonable expectations. Sure, you were glad you had the money or a home to help at first, but after a while, it seems to be expected. It begins to feel like you're being taken advantage of.

Secondly, if it's allowed to continue for some time then the mooch will become a helpless victim and this will create an endless, vicious circle. If it continues, this moocher will turn you into an enabler, which is not a fun position to be in. Just ask any family member of a drug addict or alcoholic and they'll tell you that these people literally bully them into a position of either constantly helping them or losing the love of the addict.

Thirdly, your relationship with the moocher will become so full of tension that you'll hardly be able to bear being in the same room with him or her. On top of that, before he or she has a chance to say anything, you'll automatically be on guard. Right off, you'll ask yourself: "How much does he/she want this time?" And then you'll wind up whipping out your wallet and stuffing money into his or her hands to make him or her “just go away”.

That said I’m sure you’ve heard the old proverb that’s generally attributed to Lao Tzu that goes like this: “Give a man a fish, and feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, and feed him for life.” With that in mind, the question now becomes, "How do you make them stop?” Or, “How do you stop this horrific merry-go-round from going around one more time?”

Tell them, “Look, I can help you this time, but you need to get a job and support yourself or stop doing whatever it is that is putting you into this position.” If anything, you can have him or her do some work for you in order to earn that money. Hold firmly to what you tell the person. However, if he or she doesn't have a car to look for a job or a printer to print out a resume, then by all means, help the person out by giving him or her rides to job interviews or help with bus fare and whatnot. At first, you may even have to take the moocher by the hand and lead him or her around literally by the nose... telling him or her what to do step-by-step until he or she is back on his or her feet, but the reward for both of you will be his or her independence and your peace of mind.

On that same vein, I do have to say that God really does work in awesome and mysterious ways. On more than one occasion in my life, God has unexpectedly blessed me with extra money hours or even days before someone I know had a need for it. I just thanked God for giving it to me and passed the money on to the person who needed it. And when that person thanked me, I told her to thank God for it because that's where it came from.

You may use this article as long as you keep the following byline intact: Copyright © 2008 The Bossy Church Lady. New in Christ? The Bossy Church Lady has answers! Visit my website at: http://www.thebossychurchlady.net Or read my rants and ramblings at: http://thebossychurchlady.blogspot.com

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